Emotions and Logic Coexist

We believe that we think with our brains and feel with our hearts. Growing up in this world has taught us that we must think with logic and leave our feelings aside. We had to toughen up and leave our feelings behind because an emotional person has no reason, but a logical person is intelligent. Logic and emotions are opposites.

Logic and feelings aren’t different sides of a coin. In our lives, we don’t flip the coin to see if we act logically or emotionally. They are not disjointed; they coexist. There isn’t a decision we make without both. We make decisions primarily based on our emotions, and then we think about what to do as a decision.

Let’s say you are hiking in the woods; the weather and landscape are lovely. You are enjoying the peaceful walk. Suddenly, you hear a snap nearby. It could be just a twig or something else: a bear, a snake, or a person following you. Now you are on alert. Now, you are deciding out of fear. So maybe it is logical for you to move cautiously away from that place. Perhaps you need to know more about the sudden noise. Maybe you freeze for a moment, waiting for whatever it is to go away. Perhaps you are ready to fight with whatever comes your way. Any of these decisions are based on one emotion: fear. Emotions are signals.

We work in three different minds:

The emotional mind is reactive. Your feelings control your thoughts and behaviour. They act without thinking about the outcome and the consequences.

The logical mind is more cautious. First, it assesses the facts, the possible outcomes, and the consequences before acting. It’s a sound, more developed mind that overlooks your feelings and values. It tends to ignore other people’s feelings, too.

The Wise mind is the one we should aim for. It’s the balance between logic and emotions. It helps us to make decisions to achieve something by acknowledging and respecting our feelings.

I’m going to give you a personal example:

Due to hormonal imbalance, I suffer from chronic pain. The pain makes me feel exhausted. I cannot concentrate on anything for long hours. Emotionally, it takes a toll on me. I feel angry, sad, and even disappointed in myself. My emotional mind will say, “Why the effort? Let’s stay in bed, sheltering under the blankets and watching Netflix all day. Rest all day; maybe the pain will be gone one day. You are sad and angry and frustrated; do nothing or complain about all your ailments.”

My logical mind will say, “You are wasting your time doing nothing. You used to be energetic and optimistic. Pain is there and won’t go away. If you keep doing nothing, you will feel more pain up to the point of not going back, and you will be incapacitated. You know that you must exercise, take your pills, eat better, sleep better and work on something. You must be productive. Don’t waste your life.”

My wise mind will say, “Okay, Let’s take little steps. Let’s exercise gently; don’t push yourself to exhaustion. Listen to your body, and you will know when to push farther and when to take it easy. After all, you cannot put so many hours into work as before, and you feel unproductive and disappointed, but that’s not true. You feel like this because you say so, but you know you are still working on it. Step by step. Take care of yourself, be kind, and keep going with these little steps.”

My emotional mind takes me to the meltdown, to defeat. My logical mind may be reasonable, but it’s overlooking my feelings, and it isn’t compassionate. My wise mind is more balanced. It acknowledges how I feel and changes my thinking into kindness to myself. It gives me input on how to work with a more holistic approach.

Instead of debating between feelings and logic, let’s take the wise-mind approach:

· Acknowledge your emotions. Remember, they are signals. They help us to make decisions and connect with others. They are motivators, and they help us survive. Put a label on your emotions so you know where you are at.

· Identify emotional triggers. It could be a situation, a person, or any change of variables with an emotional response.

· Pause and reflect. It is more complicated than it sounds, but that is the difference between acting only on emotions and acting only on logic. A deep breath to calm yourself. Now, reflect on what you are feeling and why, and reflect on the logical aspects of the situation.

· Don’t judge yourself. Avoid judging your emotions and thoughts. Self-compassion is essential here. Observe them with curiosity and acceptance.

· Opposite truths can coexist. You can feel anxious about a task, but you logically know that you can handle it.

· Practice emotional regulation techniques. Mindfulness, breathing techniques, grounding.

· Look into your core values and long-term goals. If you identify your values and long-term goals, you can also consider if the decisions you are making are aligned with them.

· Practice self-compassion. You won’t treat a person you love with harsh and defeating thoughts. Be your best friend.

· Be resilient. Every experience we have is a lesson to learn. We learn only when we grow and become emotionally resilient.

· Seek for help. A professional in mental health will give you more tools to work on regulating emotions.

The wise mind is a skill that we develop in time and with effort. We don't want to eliminate the emotions; we must use them to make more rational decisions. That way, we are more balanced and aligned with our values and long-term goals.